Thursday, 17 December 2009

A Year Ago Today Mum Lost her Fight.......

My beautiful Mum passed away at 12.55am today one year ago. I cannot believe it has been a year already, more importantly it does not feel like it. I still cannot believe that she is gone & still do not feel like it has even sunk in. I still expect her many daily calls, i still expect to see her every day & i still expect to be spending Christmas day with her.
The only comfort i have is knowing that she is no longer suffering the years of pain that she had. I am also relieved that the whole passing experience of my Mum was made easier with the wonderful care of St.Wilfred's Hospice, all of the family & friends that we had around us.
We always promised Mum that she would never be alone & in no pain in her final days, i hope & pray that we fulfilled this for her.

Today me, Martin, Dad & Carolyn spent the day together. We took a Christmas tree that has been potted in our garden over to her memorial in Dad's garden & we each decorated the tree. We made a decorated tag & added words for Mum & placed it on the top of the tree. We had a good cry, and a good laugh at some of our wonderful memories of our Mum.
We went off for the day & went to the shops, had lunch & shopped for pressies, something we all used to do together.

I would like to thank all of our wonderful friends for their kind words of support, without them i think that life would be much harder. I was given this beautiful poem by one of my Mum's dear friends as she felt that it would help me & my family & our grief. It makes me feel happy that my Mum is in such a wonderful place and one day we will join her there

Thankyou for listening xxx


  1. Miss Clare and Miss Helen... you have come through your first year, so the hardest year is now behind you... each year you will learn to live with your grief a little bit better than the year before, the pain and the longing will never leave you, however, neither will the love and fond memories... it all goes hand in hand. The loss of your mum wasn't fair, why your mum, why you, why? Can't answer that one, the only solace is that she loved you and lived for you and you loved her and now you can live for her... keep being the wonderful, caring, talented and loving girls that she raised and she will live on through her beautiful angels.
    Love you both - Beaver xx

  2. Thankyou beautiful. I do not even know how we would have got through this past year without our lovely friends like you Beave. You are all so kind & are helping us to get through this tragedy. Thankyou angel xxx

  3. Ah Missy Clare,
    I will be reaching you in as you are wrapped up tightly in a thousand hand knitted rugs, from a very tropical - big world out here hey!

    Hope you are feeling much better with that were so sad, that that dreaded lurgy just crept in.

    I really hope you & all your family can enjoy Christmas together, & think so happily of your mum....I know it is sad...but you know I know!!

    I am on a borrowed laptop early in the morning, & cant access my mail, so keep in contact through the blog....

    Wish you lots of happy cuttlebugging after Christmas,

    Love Deb xxx


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